chapter 36

(in writing this post i was listening to keep holding on by avril lavigne  adry 8adeema, bas you know, its just soo good. it really has so much against faisal, mu layga 3alaih, bas it has absolutely everything to do with layan and what goes on with them in the chapter, hope you like the chapter- love you)

 - LAYAN -







he didnt have to say the word..... i already knew. from the bags under his eyes and the unusual twich he newly developed.


but then his eyes flicked towards me capturing my emotions


his eyes hardened


faisal:"its one thing to care but its another to pity me. if your going to feel bad for me then just leave"




i looked at him hard, and i knew he didnt mean those words


me:"were going to visit your mom get out your car keys yalla imsh" i walked to the car


i didnt look back to see if hed follow. i knew he would


when we got in and drove our car passed reems and she looked at us shocked.


faisal didnt even notice she was there.


?????


me:""hey faisal i know this isnt the right time to ask this question bas whats going on??"


his eyes narrowed in confusion then they swiveled towards mine.


faisal:"going on with what?"


me:"you and reem, theres something weird, i mean we just passed her car and she freaked"


faisal gripped the wheel harder


and i looked at his emotionless face.


but see i knew him well enough to not take my eyes off him so i saw in that split second before the walls slammed up. i saw shock and something like anxiety.




faisal:"wala shay" he said calmly........there was an edge to his voice


i sighed.


me:"youll never tell me, but she will"


i didnt think hed react to this cuz this was said more to myself then to him bas the car swerved and we shook in our seats.


faisal:"ok" he said bas i could see anger build in his eyes.


i held my breathe


moment of silence


faisal:"intay tis2ileen wayid as2ila layan... and you know what they say about curiousity, it killed the cat" he said it with his anger still intact but his voice was calm, but it was like lightning, quiet yet deadly


me:"lets just go"


faisal':"you know layan if you didnt want to come.. no one asked-" he started to say


me:"mala da3i kalam zayid" he grimaced




we spent the rest of the ride sitting in uncompaniable silence.

i saw a huuuge mansion from five seconds away and it had a big garden and everything...
. i looked up and admired the beige color and the beautiful large windows and the statues and fountain.
there was a wall a huge one in which security opened when we got to the gate. when we got in i caught the full view of the fountain and a roundabout entrance.



if you saw the garden you would gasp......... it ust takes your breathe away...... i stared out at it and at the path (more like sidewalk) in the garden... i didnt know we had these in kuwait.




i gasped and looked at faisal


he was still and looked straight ahead


he didnt even admire the view.............well i guess he was used to it plus hes too busy thinking about his mom......


when we got there we rang the bell and his gramma opened up


when she saw us she shouted a mere "FA9OOOOLI" then showerd us with hugs and kisses


we went inside and sat with her.


faisal didnt say a word.


i couldnt even tell you he was breathing in all honesty


we went to the living room and sat on the couches....


there living room was huuuuuge and there house was bigger than mines i wonder why hed live in our place when he has his very own yet slightly bigger one here?


when we sat or in faisals case -turn into a statue- his gramma tried to offer some small talk.


granny:"ha layan shlonich shlon ahalich, wil madrisa?"


me:"wallah il7amdulillah ib 5air kilna wil dirasa-"


abruptly faisal swerved his whole body towards us


faisal:"wainha?"




his gramms eyes widened in panic

that gave her away, because to faisal that was more than enough to confirm that his mom got worse

granny:"ahya bil mostashfa"

there was a sharp intake of breathe (from faisal) and his nostrils flared

his eyes went wide.

he stood up straight

he was looking at us but seing right through us

faisal was a million miles away right now

faisal:"i need to go" he said and rushed out the door,


i started to go after him bas his grammas grip on my shoulder held mme back

granny:"7abeebty fai9al ma tigdireen t7acheena layn ma tabrid a39aba, ohwa il7een ib 3alam thany. hidy" she patted my shoulder and walked back in

granny:"o dam innich hny 5an na3zif 3al ilbiyano (piano)"

(by the way i think his gramma is from his dads side, cuz she looks so uch like 3amy s3ood)

i walked after her and we sat and talked

i watched her play the piano and heard how beautiful her music was

i listened to wonderful stories of her when she was my age

we drank tea and talked about our daily lives

i lie down on a huge comfy couch with her talking to me,,, we then took out some books and read

and when i fell asleep faisal came in.

she excused herself

faisal sat next to my unconcious body and started to talk.

he looked at my closed eyes

faisal:"so i went to my mom" he said and laughed a humourless laugh

"and i talked to her layan, she was awake, and she acted like she always did everyday" he paused and took a strand of my hair and put it behind my ear

"the thing is that i shouldnt have listened to you layan" pause "you just had to do this to me didnt you layan? ofcourse if you were awake right now you wouldve defended yourself and treated my like some devil........well maybe thats what i am layan, you shouldnt have tried to fix this........because you cant, and you never will. "

he brushed a hand across my cheek

"you know when this is all over ill leave and itll all be better....................... youd be better off, theres no point in believing in me layan,.............. you dont know........you just dont....................but one day you will, and youll hate me so much. and thats the good thing about it, youlll hate me so much that youll move on. youll forget about me and my problems............i just hope someday youll forgive me, if i could have it my way id go now....and id never come back, never look back"

he then stood up and covered me in a shawl, he kissed my head and walked away

and then at the door he turned around and said one thing

"you shouldve never cared layan, you couldve made it easier on the both of us because layan you deserve so..so much better than this.... and i hope youll find it in your too big a heart to forgive me for what im about to do"

he shut off the lights and dissapeared into the night doing what he always does and going off to wherever it is he goes off to, to think and clear his mind

that was one moment i regret not being awake for












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the next morning came


i woke up to find myself in faisals house, in the living room

i got up

.: zain layan ashwa inich gimtay!! 3ashan in7i6 ilryoog

i looked at the source

faisals granny came in and i kissed her cheeks

we went to the dining room

she excused herself and told me her favorite show was on so she had to go

i sat down and started to pour some milk into my glass.


...: salam

i turned and saw faisal in the doorway.. he didnt look at peace today as he usually did .. he looked more on the - havent slept for years side- but today when he looked me in the eye i could feel a depth to them, he was smirking and leaning against the door. his arms were crossed

me:"wa3alaikom ilsalam, incase you havent noticed i slept here... i didnt know if i shouldve left or stayed bas i got carried away with your grama.. by the way shes really wonderful and i im sorry i -"

faisal:"no no bil3aks she loves visitors, and its nice to have someone else in the house, it ok.... layan there are a few papers i have here.... there about some fieldtrip we have to go to... you know in italy or something bas yaboon taw8ee3ich" he said this and put a few papers infornt of me. he leaned down almost to eye level.

me:"oh ok, bas i dont have a pen"

he suddenly got one out from behind him...

he slid it through my hand

i looked at him and he smiled encouragingly

me:"in school ma galoly shay 3an fieldtrip lets read a5af yi6la3 ghala6?""

he covered the top half of the paper and i looked at him

he smiled

a very charming smile.......... this is so uncharacteristic

then his eyes grew serious i hesitated

faisal:"you know me, would i ever do anything that wasnt in your best interest? layan do you trust me? " he asked in a voice so soft and calm..


i looked into his black holes his dark inky black eyes.. they were hypnotizing

me:"ofcourse i trust you" the answer came naturally, i trusted him with my life

faisal:"then sign" he said in a silky voice

so i signed. as soon as i signed..

he swiped the papers and left. just like that




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" did layan just make a deal with the devil?"