chapter 44

(listen to mr hudson and the library white lies)












-LAYAN-

i fell asleep and woke up the other day to a knock on my door,

it started out as a knock and a whispered "layan?"

but then the door started knocking louder

i guess i was soooo out of it that i didnt wake up.

i mean could you blame me, i was kidnapped yesterday.

thats when my door opened sligtly.

and i heard footsteps.

my eyes were half closed. i had a habit of sleeping with half open half closed eyes.

but this time i wasnt sleeping.

i saw faisal walk in and look at me with worried eyes.

his footsteps were light its as if he wasnt even there.

he lay a hand on my forehead checking for a fever.

then he pulled up a chair and sat next to me.

he took something out annd surprisingly it was a book. he just sat there and started reading.

i was amazed at how patient he was.

he looked so at peace reading his book.

thats when he looked at me and i realized i was staring. eyes wide open

he shut his book. and gave me one of his charming white toothed smiles

faisal:"good morning sleeping beauty, i almost thought youd never wake up"

i smiled tiredly

me:"you cant blame me can you" i said it and meant it as a joke

but his smile vanished

faisal:"no but you can blame me, if it werent for me-"

i put my hand up

(it was awkward since i was laying down, so it was sideways)

me:"i dont blame you, and you shouldnt bllame yourself. please. "

he nodded.

then stood up.

faisal:"i was waiting for you to wake up...... cuz i wanted to tell you that im having a race tonight.. "

he looked at me expectantly

me:"o thats awesome!! ive never seen you race before" i sat up.

faisal:"ya its my first race this season"

he stood there and waited as if i was supposed to say something

i just looked at him

he sighed

faisal:"for gods sake layan, dont make me have to ask you"

my eyebrows shot up

me:"you want me to come?"

faisal:"do YOU want to come?" he asked and emphasized the you.

me:"only if you want me to"

he sighed again.

faisal:"its hard enough that.... layan.. forget about what i want. i want to know what you want" he looked at me in exasperation

me:"but i dont know how this goes!! i wont go unless you want me to" i said in exasperation.

he hysterically brushed a hand through his hair

faisal:"LAYAN!!! I WANT YOU TO COME TO MY RACE, I REAALY WANT YOU TO COME. NOW, WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME?"

he yelled in exasperation

i jumped up and stood straight

me:"YA IWANT TO GO! NOW WAS THAT SO HARD?? "

I yelled back at him

we were both staring at eachother hysterically.and we were breathing hard

faisal:"god layan your impossible" he said.

but then he smiled

faisal:"6ala3tay roo7y. why couldnt you save me the trouble of asking?!"

me:"min9ijik? its your first race this season,its supoosed to be special, imnot just gonna force you to take me with you, witha ma kint tabeeny aroo7-"

faisal:"la yuba abeech tyeen, now since we got through that.. layan please never put me through that ever again " he said.

i smiled.

he shook his head and tried to fight back a smile.

half an hour later

faisal and i were on our way to the race.

in the car we listened to one of my favorite songs.

white lies, by mr hudson and the library.

(Lying, I still cant find the truth.
So I spin another line on you
You cant blame a fella for trying
Im hoping, you eat my every word)


i sang along, the corners of faisals lips were strained, and his lips formed a line.

he gripped the stearing wheel harder

(But deep inside Im dying
Oh! I wanna word with you
If theres never a perfect time
Its time for another white lie
White lies, just another white lie
I did it to get close to you
And I will tell a million more)

suddenly faisal turned off the radio

me:"but its not fin-"

faisal cut me off without looking at me

i checked to look at him and was shocked by how like the old him he looked

his eyes were slitted like a snakes, and his hair hung low just enough to cover his eye from me.

his jaw was strained and i could see a vein showing from his neck

faisal:"layan how do you feel about lying" he asked in a gruff voice

like the old faisal

me:"why are you-"

faisal:"just answer the question" then he thought and added a please

me:"lying is unfrogivable"

faisal took in a sharp breathe

faisal:"how about white lies"

i gave a laugh,

me:"oh, now i know what brought this on! the song." i laughed but the i saw faisals grave silent expression

i sighed

me:"white lies, is just something a liar would say to make himself feel better"

faisal:"what if he didnt have a CHOICE" our voices rose

me:"there are NO excuses to lying"

faisal:"what if it was to help someone"

me:"lying has a price"

faisal almost whispered:"whats your price"


i dindt like where this conversation was going.

faisal was taking this too seriously
me:"can we please change the subject lets talk about something fun, like whos against you in the race, or where im supposed to cheer you on-"


faisal finally looked at me for the first time in what felt like a year

his eyes peirced my soul

faisal:"layan, whats your price"

me:"me, the price is losing me" i said.

faisal:"even if it was to help-"

me:"theres no relationship without trust"

faisal:"yes but everyone has secrets"

me:"secrets and lying are the same. there an insult. IT MEANS you dont trust the person your so close to enough to tell them. sharing secrets gets you closer to someone, it means you trust somone, and lying is a slap in the face. NO its a stab in the hearT."

faisal:"YOU WOULD RATHER GET STABBED???" he laughed in disbelief. "ARENT YOU OVER REACTING A LITTLE LAYAN?!"

me:"ONLY COWARDS LIE. ATLEAST STABBING ME IN THE BACK MEANS THAT HE HAS THE GUTS TO DO IT."

faisal:"YOUR FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE" he slapped the stearing wheel

me:"where is all this coming from!!!!!! is there something you want to tell me faisal?!!"

faisal looked at me again:"EVERYONE in your life, has atleast lied to you once, are you telling me, youll erase all of them from your life? you would forget them all just like that?"

i looked at him hard in the eye and we had a staring competition

me:"have you ever lied to me faisal?""

we arrived and entered a garage, i guess the race was being held someplace other than faisals usual crossing

it was dark except for a few lights.

faisal turned off his car

i repeated my question:"faisal-"

he put a finger under my chin and bent towards me.

he looked me in the eye. with evil emotionless black pits

he kissed me then

he held my face betweenn both his hands and kissed me.

despite how he talked and how he looked.

the kiss was sweet and fragile. he held my face as if i was going to break

then as he pulled back first and ended our kiss he looked me in the eye and said

faisal:"more than you can imagine"

when the words came out i didnt understand.

til i remembered that he was answering my question and i felt cold all over.

i was shocked

shocked to say the least

you know that moment when your heart stops and you cant breathe?

and as soon as he saw realization dawn on my face he got out of the car and walked away waiting for me to join.

we walked to the tracks in silence his hand slipped through mine.

but i was too numb to even remember when it even happened.

it was filled with people.

and i saw guys in colored jumpsuits zipped to the top with matching bikes. they were behind the railing to which faisal led me.

they all came out from a garagelike building from behind.

they all looked at faisal and waved.

he whispered something in my ear.

i think he was excusing himself to change but i was too busy thinking

was all of this a lie?

when faisal came out he emerged from behind the lines

with them

and he was breathetaking,, in his royal jumpsuit. and his motorcycle.

when he came out he said hi to all his friends and they gave him a warm welcome.

then his eyes found me.

his eyes fell into mine.

he smiled and waved.

then he winked

thats when everyone put on there helmets and climbed the dirt bikes

when everyone was on the engines revved.

and i heard a gunshot above

thats when they rode.

they swerved and bumped eachother some of them - all of them- tried to cheat by attempting someone to fall or slow down.

faisal ofcourse was always in the top two, i forgot my surprise in that moment.

i forgot everything, and when he passed me i couldnt help but shout :"WOOOOHOOOOOO FAAAAAIIIIIISSSSSSSAAAAAAALLLL"

i didnt think he would hear me but he did and turned his head towards me a little.

when he reached his last lap, he was neck in neck with an orange jumpsuit.

the orange jumpsuit bumped faisal.

faisal ofcourse took that as an opertunity to bump him right back.

faisal won.

when he did everyone screamed even me.

but i didnt know whether i should go look for him or not but i saw everyone running towards the end looking for him.

i could only see his bike.

i decided to wait here

no one was here actually i think everyone was looking for faisal

thats when i felt strong arms wrap around me from behind and i peaked back to see faisal above me.

i smiled but it wavered with uncertainty.

me:"congrats you were great"

faisal looked into my eyes searchingly and sighed

faisal looked at me:"lets make a deal..... after today i wont lie to you... as long as you forgive me if you find out about any lies ive kept before"




i didnt know what to do but he looked at me with those slitted eyes and i remembered one of the rare wise things my mom once told me
(love is about sacrifce)

i looked at faisal and we both stopped walking

i nodded

he looked at me with disbelief and surprise as if he never thought id agree.

then he held both my hand bent down and kissed me again.

a fast butterfly kiss. he gave me a trophy. a beautiful large trophy.

faisal:"i want you to keep it." he smiled

what?!

me:"i cant possibly take this, its your first race and you won-"

faisal smiled:""there will be plenty other races to win and plenty of trophies i keep but i want you to take it"

i nodded...

but as we walked hand in hand fingers intertwined.

i couldnt help but ask "what kind of lies?"

he smiled

"White lies...."