-LAYAN-
2;30 a.m
(in my pjs listening from behind the wall, mouth wide open. eyes wide, hands pressed to my mouth)
i stood there shocked...
i was horrified
and for one moment i felt stuck in a moment
its not like i like him
.......that much
faisal just said that if he stays here he'll hate himself.
that he can't take it anymore
that im not like him.
i went to my room and stood outside my door
was i really just going to cry?
no im stronger
stop looking at it as if it was black and white its not.
your so stupid so stupid and foolish for thinking that a guy like faisal could ever love me
"venus flytrap"' i said to myself. and smiled through my tears.
it made me feel a little better.
thinking about faisal while crying over him.
ya i know its messed up
but i have to get my mind straight
so i vent.
i always face someone when i feel this way
but how could i ever face faisal.
thats when i decided to get in the room.
"toxic" i said before entering my room.
i had to face this
and in order to do so i needed to put some space between me and faisal
so step one: put some distance between me and faisal
i packed a bag put my pajamas in it and a few clothes and stuff and my sunglasses on . cuz i didnt want to take any chances
step two:
piss him off
its not revenge,
i got into the car and drove.
i have never driven alone before, but i knew how to drive, and reems house is close to mines, so i took the spare key in the garage and left.
i got in and went to reems house,
i was still wearing my pjs.
i got to reems house and rang the bell i forgot to call and everything but its like my second home,
the nanny lachmi opened the door, when she knew it was me she let me in,
lachmi had curlers in her hair, and i almost smiled. she was shorter than me.
so i went upstairs and got into reems room
"reem reem wake up" i said in a low voice.
she shook shway
"na3am, layan????" she said and got up
she opened her lamp and saw my tearstreaked cheaks from under my glasses. i took my sunglasses off and she hugged me.
"why are you crying?" she said.
and i told her everything.
the look on her face was shock and confusion and at last anger
its as if she didnt expect faisal to be this mean
"layan may5alif intay il7een namay 3indy bas at one point ra7 itrideen ilbait. and you have to face him" she said, and patted my hair.
"ok"
i said in a small voice
i hugged her
and i fell asleep
PING!!! PING!!! PING!!! PING!!!
I heard my phone ring half an hour later, i barely shut my eyes. its 4:30 am
i checked my phone and saw faisals number
i sighed.
"aloo" i said.
"LAYAN WAINICH!!!!! ILSA3A 4:30 ILFAYIR, WAINICH???!!!!!" his voice 6ayar ilnom min 3ayni
"malik shi8il ma3a salama" i said. bas i didnt shut it
cuz i heard him say " O BA3D ITSIDEENA??!!! ABASHRICH LAYAN TARA ANA ADRY INICH IB BAIT REEM, KANY YAY" he said,
why is it that faisal talks so much when hes mad bas when hes happy or normal (in faisal standards because faisal is anything but normal) hes quiet.
i just shut the phone and looked around to tell reem, but she was already sitting up eyes wide.
so i stood up and went into her coset and put on my uniform, the i went to the bathroom and washed my face. my hair was unnaturally na3im today, 3ala wavy
by the time i was done. i heard reem calling out my name
"layan faisal 3ala il5a6." she said.
"umbay hatha min 9ija yay??" i said when i got in her room
"what if your parents saw him?" i said and put on my shoes,
i planned on getting out before he reached her house.
"laa 3adi my parents ra7o ilshalet o fay ib 3ashir noma" reem said and held out my phone.
i looked at it in silence and looked at reem
"u pick up" i said.
she shook her head and her finger
"laa shukran 7abeebti ana ma abi akoon hnak laman faisal yinfijir, 5aleeha 3alaich. im not the one that ran away" she said
"fine!! shhal best friend!!!" i said
and she threw a pillow at me
"im the very best" she huffed and stood infront of me
"yalla 3ad sheeli" she said.
i took a deep breathe.
"aloo" i said
"ana ta7at, ta3alay aw ana ra7 ayeelich" he said in a calm voice, the voice that could cut through you.
i could just imagine his eyes right now, burning holes into me..
i shivered.
i shut the phone and went downstairs.
i hugged reem and took my bag
i took a deep breathe
"wish me luck" i said to reem before i opened the door
she almost laughed
"its faisal, you have no hope" she said
i got out.
i saw him leaning against his mustang outside.
his arms were crossed against his chest and he was looking at me min ta7at so his head was tilted up and his eyes were looking down.
i knew this expression well, he was seething.
though he looked calm, i knew inside he was probably thinking of a million ways to kill me
i looked at him and walked away towards my car which was a short distance away from his.
"ya layan run away just like you always do." he said. in a harsh brushed tone.
he was barely talking from how dry his voice was.
i didnt look at him,
bas i did pause at my door.
"what happened to the promise. ha layan?" he said. i could here him from behind.
he was close standing behind me 6 feet away crossing his arms
i turned to face him bas i paused
"the promise? i didnt run away-" i started bas he came up to my face and his eyes blazed
"dont you dare lie to me" he said in a steal voice.
i stepped back and hit my back against the car.
i turned and opened the door to put my bag in it.
"layan look at me" he said bas his anger was building up
"THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS FACE ME" he shouted and held my amr, he spun me around.
i didnt say a word. but my eyes betrayed me. i looked into his unforgiving eyes, and my eyes filled with tears. faisals anger wavered momentarily.
"you heard what i said didnt you" he said. in understanding he backed away a little.
"every single word" i spat out.
he stood quietly.
"arent you going to deny it or fix it?"
he didnt say a word, just looked at me with an unreadable expression.
"IF YOU HATE ME THAT MUCH THEN WHY DID YOU COME AFTER ME!" i shouted out
and tears leaked bas i wiped them off
"its better you heard it from me now" he said in a low voice.
"LA O BA3D YOU ADMIT IT!! WHY DID YOU COME WHY? " i said out loud.
he took it like a man and stood there
"arent you gonna say anything??" i said miserably.
he looked at me intensely.
"i came after you because i promised your dad id keep you safe. and unlike you i keep my promises."
he said
i was about to scream
"PROMISES?! NO FAISAL NO-" i started bas he cut me off
"no? so are you just gonna run away again? is that wat your gonna do, yalla roo7ay allah ma3ach " he said in a voice that made me want to slap me. how could he be so calm at a time like this.
thats when i figured it out,
i smiled.
"no im not gonna run away, you want me to face you i will." i said.
he looked at me intenselybut mostly dissaprovingly.
his eyes burned me over and over again with anger.
i hate him.
live in the moment. no consequences
but i figured it out
"i''m crying, over you," i said.
he looked taken aback,
"i have never met anyone in this world like you and im crying because i have feelings for you. i havent ever felt this way about anyone. i dont see guys and like them i dont know why. but i realize now. that i didnt like anyone because they werent you " i said.
faisals eyes where about to pop out
"no one is as,confusing, tiring, mean, coniving,sinister, and clueless as you. you dont even try. and yet everyone is half in love with you from how you look and you dont even know. your too busy in your own dark place to even open your eyes. so no im not like you faisal but truthfully i dont think anyone in the world is, bas despite everything. i have FEELINGS FOR YOU " i said.
step 3: face him
2;30 a.m
(in my pjs listening from behind the wall, mouth wide open. eyes wide, hands pressed to my mouth)
i stood there shocked...
i was horrified
and for one moment i felt stuck in a moment
its not like i like him
.......that much
faisal just said that if he stays here he'll hate himself.
that he can't take it anymore
that im not like him.
i went to my room and stood outside my door
was i really just going to cry?
no im stronger
stop looking at it as if it was black and white its not.
your so stupid so stupid and foolish for thinking that a guy like faisal could ever love me
"venus flytrap"' i said to myself. and smiled through my tears.
it made me feel a little better.
thinking about faisal while crying over him.
ya i know its messed up
but i have to get my mind straight
so i vent.
i always face someone when i feel this way
but how could i ever face faisal.
thats when i decided to get in the room.
"toxic" i said before entering my room.
i had to face this
and in order to do so i needed to put some space between me and faisal
so step one: put some distance between me and faisal
i packed a bag put my pajamas in it and a few clothes and stuff and my sunglasses on . cuz i didnt want to take any chances
step two:
piss him off
its not revenge,
i got into the car and drove.
i have never driven alone before, but i knew how to drive, and reems house is close to mines, so i took the spare key in the garage and left.
i got in and went to reems house,
i was still wearing my pjs.
i got to reems house and rang the bell i forgot to call and everything but its like my second home,
the nanny lachmi opened the door, when she knew it was me she let me in,
lachmi had curlers in her hair, and i almost smiled. she was shorter than me.
so i went upstairs and got into reems room
"reem reem wake up" i said in a low voice.
she shook shway
"na3am, layan????" she said and got up
she opened her lamp and saw my tearstreaked cheaks from under my glasses. i took my sunglasses off and she hugged me.
"why are you crying?" she said.
and i told her everything.
the look on her face was shock and confusion and at last anger
its as if she didnt expect faisal to be this mean
"layan may5alif intay il7een namay 3indy bas at one point ra7 itrideen ilbait. and you have to face him" she said, and patted my hair.
"ok"
i said in a small voice
i hugged her
and i fell asleep
PING!!! PING!!! PING!!! PING!!!
I heard my phone ring half an hour later, i barely shut my eyes. its 4:30 am
i checked my phone and saw faisals number
i sighed.
"aloo" i said.
"LAYAN WAINICH!!!!! ILSA3A 4:30 ILFAYIR, WAINICH???!!!!!" his voice 6ayar ilnom min 3ayni
"malik shi8il ma3a salama" i said. bas i didnt shut it
cuz i heard him say " O BA3D ITSIDEENA??!!! ABASHRICH LAYAN TARA ANA ADRY INICH IB BAIT REEM, KANY YAY" he said,
why is it that faisal talks so much when hes mad bas when hes happy or normal (in faisal standards because faisal is anything but normal) hes quiet.
i just shut the phone and looked around to tell reem, but she was already sitting up eyes wide.
so i stood up and went into her coset and put on my uniform, the i went to the bathroom and washed my face. my hair was unnaturally na3im today, 3ala wavy
by the time i was done. i heard reem calling out my name
"layan faisal 3ala il5a6." she said.
"umbay hatha min 9ija yay??" i said when i got in her room
"what if your parents saw him?" i said and put on my shoes,
i planned on getting out before he reached her house.
"laa 3adi my parents ra7o ilshalet o fay ib 3ashir noma" reem said and held out my phone.
i looked at it in silence and looked at reem
"u pick up" i said.
she shook her head and her finger
"laa shukran 7abeebti ana ma abi akoon hnak laman faisal yinfijir, 5aleeha 3alaich. im not the one that ran away" she said
"fine!! shhal best friend!!!" i said
and she threw a pillow at me
"im the very best" she huffed and stood infront of me
"yalla 3ad sheeli" she said.
i took a deep breathe.
"aloo" i said
"ana ta7at, ta3alay aw ana ra7 ayeelich" he said in a calm voice, the voice that could cut through you.
i could just imagine his eyes right now, burning holes into me..
i shivered.
i shut the phone and went downstairs.
i hugged reem and took my bag
i took a deep breathe
"wish me luck" i said to reem before i opened the door
she almost laughed
"its faisal, you have no hope" she said
i got out.
i saw him leaning against his mustang outside.
his arms were crossed against his chest and he was looking at me min ta7at so his head was tilted up and his eyes were looking down.
i knew this expression well, he was seething.
though he looked calm, i knew inside he was probably thinking of a million ways to kill me
i looked at him and walked away towards my car which was a short distance away from his.
"ya layan run away just like you always do." he said. in a harsh brushed tone.
he was barely talking from how dry his voice was.
i didnt look at him,
bas i did pause at my door.
"what happened to the promise. ha layan?" he said. i could here him from behind.
he was close standing behind me 6 feet away crossing his arms
i turned to face him bas i paused
"the promise? i didnt run away-" i started bas he came up to my face and his eyes blazed
"dont you dare lie to me" he said in a steal voice.
i stepped back and hit my back against the car.
i turned and opened the door to put my bag in it.
"layan look at me" he said bas his anger was building up
"THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS FACE ME" he shouted and held my amr, he spun me around.
i didnt say a word. but my eyes betrayed me. i looked into his unforgiving eyes, and my eyes filled with tears. faisals anger wavered momentarily.
"you heard what i said didnt you" he said. in understanding he backed away a little.
"every single word" i spat out.
he stood quietly.
"arent you going to deny it or fix it?"
he didnt say a word, just looked at me with an unreadable expression.
"IF YOU HATE ME THAT MUCH THEN WHY DID YOU COME AFTER ME!" i shouted out
and tears leaked bas i wiped them off
"its better you heard it from me now" he said in a low voice.
"LA O BA3D YOU ADMIT IT!! WHY DID YOU COME WHY? " i said out loud.
he took it like a man and stood there
"arent you gonna say anything??" i said miserably.
he looked at me intensely.
"i came after you because i promised your dad id keep you safe. and unlike you i keep my promises."
he said
i was about to scream
"PROMISES?! NO FAISAL NO-" i started bas he cut me off
"no? so are you just gonna run away again? is that wat your gonna do, yalla roo7ay allah ma3ach " he said in a voice that made me want to slap me. how could he be so calm at a time like this.
thats when i figured it out,
i smiled.
"no im not gonna run away, you want me to face you i will." i said.
he looked at me intenselybut mostly dissaprovingly.
his eyes burned me over and over again with anger.
i hate him.
live in the moment. no consequences
but i figured it out
"i''m crying, over you," i said.
he looked taken aback,
"i have never met anyone in this world like you and im crying because i have feelings for you. i havent ever felt this way about anyone. i dont see guys and like them i dont know why. but i realize now. that i didnt like anyone because they werent you " i said.
faisals eyes where about to pop out
"no one is as,confusing, tiring, mean, coniving,sinister, and clueless as you. you dont even try. and yet everyone is half in love with you from how you look and you dont even know. your too busy in your own dark place to even open your eyes. so no im not like you faisal but truthfully i dont think anyone in the world is, bas despite everything. i have FEELINGS FOR YOU " i said.
step 3: face him
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